W11- Writing Techniques

Response to Death by Buffet, Life in Mama’s House, The right stuff: The Angels

To be a journalist is always not an easy task for ordinary writer, it might have to be someone who has extremely tough personalities and compressive abilities to dealing with the stress from different potential difficulties. Form these three readings, Death by Buffet by Harley is definitely the most remarkable one and also my favorite one to keep me read through all of them. Reading Harley’s piece is just like watching a documentary. From his description, I saw some part of history of India, and I could sense the scenes and emotions that he tried to convey vividly as he was totally broken into my mind with his words so clear. To be honest, I was going up and down with his words. I laughed when he found the exaggerated norms and courteous manners from every single “Thank you, Sir,” “Yes, Sir” in India, where people always served him as “Sahib.” On the other hand, I could also realize the real and actual desperation that a journalist might have been through when he decided to leave his girlfriend, Sarah, for his journalism career, when he lost the key soundtrack for his first big story in Orissa before the deadline. Not mentioned to the experience from the cultural differences when he was living in India. In addition, he has got the sense of humor to describe every little “trouble” that he met with the cleanser, the cook or the “washbasin,” which made it a really interesting story.

Another story, Life in Mama’s House, was actually opened up the extraordinary perspectives of serving in Sing Sing Prison, a totally “unique” experience that no one would never ever thought about it. I remember that in Harley’s article, he described that Peter said” It is a city of money and madness…”in New Delhi, but for me, maybe the hierarchal system is so obvious in India whereas it is not that much in Sing Sing prison. From the description, I saw the inmates were described as different nicknames and personalities without clarifying their convictions with a regular life in this small society. And Mama Cradle, one of the leader, was devoting most of her lifetime being serving these people who have previous convictions (but we don’t see any in the article). While practicing the volunteer work, he saw through the humanity and described the characters as everyone was equal and trying to get some dignity and respect especially for him. Similar with the Harley’s story, I feel like it is too detailed to be a script and that is how a descriptive story could be imagined with pictures in my mind.   

Although the last one is the shortest one, but I was so into the sadness of Jean and I feel like it shouldn’t be finished like that, I feel like I haven’t get the whole story yet and it went to the end straight away. In a word, I found that the most difficult part for me to do the descriptive story is a lack of vocabularies, so I couldn’t think about any colorful words to improve my story content. That’s way I found the hard news is easier than soft news, whereas soft news is much easier than feature story at the moment!   

W11-Feature story openers and closers

Story 1

Openers:

The beauty of nature is the most brilliant treasure in Tamar Valley, the locals are proud of their amazing hometown. But somehow they might have no choice to become the protesters because of the pulp mill construction. To be precise, they might be the most peaceful and gentle protesters with good manner in Tasmania. Tasmanian’s Against A Pulp Mill constructed the workshops which were settled with organised training, joined by people who against for $ 2 billion pulp mill plan in Tasmanian’s Tamar Valley. Most people join the project without any experiences with the formal training offered by TAP to protect their beautiful hometown. They have been taught to avoid from “worse-case scenario” without respect and obedience to fight back Gunns construction.         

Closers

Contributed to the wide and organised training of the peaceful movement, people in Tamar Valley are willing to make efforts on saving their hometown. Furthermore, the cheap airfare entry of Tiger Airways to Tasmania is relatively expected to reinforce the protests in the future.   

Story 2

Openers:

It is definitely not a promotion for the latest up coming movie-“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” whereas it is the true story happened to an Italian cruise ship which was hijacked by Somali pirates like a war! The cruise liner Melody was attacked by Somali pirates with gunfire, one crew member were injured by broken glass from window. Meanwhile, the security guards fight back with shooting while the pirates still following them for a while. The caption described that it was as if they were at war. 

Closers:

According to the International Maritime Bureau, the pirate attack is relatively increased recently with tenfold in the first 3 months of this year. Therefore, the safety of passengers and crew members could be concerned more as well as the navigational safety especially around Yemeni waterway will be highly noticed to all the ships.   

W10-To be a story teller...

-Response to NYPD Inaction over missing black woman by Sean Gardiner

We have still not lived long enough by Tom Griffiths

Serving in Florida by Barbara Ehrenreich

The NYPD Inaction Over a Missing Black Woman Found Dead Sparks a Historic Racial-Bias Lawsuit, by Sean Gardiner, was a stunning and regardful story which reminds me of one of my favourite novel- The Lovely bone by Alice Sebold in 2002. It was a true story of a 13-year-old girl, Susie,who was murdered by her neighbourhood while she was on the way home after school. Unfortunately she was raped, killed and dismembered by the murderer while no one could hear her mourning in the built-up basement space under the corn field. I was fascinated by the author who tried to use Susie’s point of view to describe and to tell the whole story with sense of humour and innocent aspect of a little girl. Both of the NYPD and The Lovely Bone are based on the true background and characters, which intrigues me a lot to some extend. Also, they all got the inspirational writing style which is stimulating while each clues was revealed step by step from the process of investigation. However, these two sufferers in different stories were all abused to death, but it seems to be some different purposes and thoughts of what they are trying to convey. NYPD has pointed out the ignorance of black people’s safety and human rights, while The Lovely Bone is more perceptual to describe a deceased little girl who watches from heaven as her family and friends struggle to move on with their lives, pursued for being given back her splendid life that she would never be experienced with her soul haunted around after she died. Definitely, this kind of story would take times to figure out the truth because of the real existence of story, it seems like the writer should be sophisticated and practised while telling the story. 

In contrast,We have still not lived long enough by Tom Griffiths, the idea of using quotes is lightening up the article. By giving the tragedies of bush fires with the grieved for those people who had been mentioned, Griffiths did give the affections toward the article with great sense of sentiment; lead the readers to the emotional approach but neutral sense of educating the scientific information to the readers. In a sense, I thought he was good at organise the stories and gather information concisely with quotes and convey the meanings from every single ones. I mean, I do love the idea about educating meaningfulness in the article with quotes, but somehow it could be the most difficult part of writing, maybe for me, it might sometimes be hard to please usual readers.

I found the article Serving in Florida by Barbara Ehrenreich, is an entertaining and amiable piece. It’s quite cordial and actually it’s just like reading a diary of a friend. It reminds me of the first foreign novel I’ve read The Diary of Anne Frank by Anne Frank in 1944. It is a book written as the Dutch language diary kept by Anne Frank while she was hiding for two years with her family during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. The family was apprehended in 1944 and Anne Frank ultimately died of typhus in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp. After the war, the diary was retrieved by Anne's father, Otto Frank, the only known survivor of the family. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the article and was willing to get know more about the new life of this young lady in Florida, but I did lose patient to finish the whole article at times. I would say that I did enjoy experiencing different people’s life with various perceptions, but maybe because the plot and the way of telling stories was not that intensive and attractive to me which made me loose the concentration for a while.

Well, for my feature story, I’m struggling to write a story with both news point and sense of perception from different perspectives, try hard to avoid being too rational directions with the issue of “interracial marriage,” I would rather focus on the emotional aspects that my interviewee has revealed between the words during the conversation and make these 3 different stories gathered to relate the possible news point. It is a great challenge for me indeed, because most of my writing so for are mainly about presenting facts. Therefore, I really appreciate to make my story alive as the readers could almost feel like they were one of the characters in the story or experience the scene of my stories vividly as possible as they could. I am kind of person who really enjoys listening to people and love different life experiences, sometimes, I am too emotional to be a good story teller, so I will try to express my interviewees’ point of view fairly and squarely even I love to listen to them, interact with them much more rather than write it up with my pen!    

Week 10 Feature story- Jerry the oldest dog.

Once, a small town was delighted to be founded in 1864 as “Queen City of the West,” located in outback western New South Wales,  was not only a major port on the Darling River but also the third largest inland port in Australia but somehow it become a nearly ghost town, called Wilcannia.

Unlike the prosperous period in 1880’s, Wilcannia has been dwelled by merely 750 population of residents with a high percentage of the community being of indigenous decline, survives as only banks, shops, motels and service stations running in this nearly desolate area.

However, the most honest and best friend of Wilcannia, Jerry, might be noticed as a favourable turning point of this desperate town after living here for 27 years or even much longer!     

It is the world oldest dog Jerry that brings Wilcannia alive again with his age of 189 years old on Sunday. Apparently, it might sometimes be a sad story that one has been living for 189 years alone without any offspring. Yet in Wilcannia, where animals are essential to the indigenous community as lifelong companions and working partners, Jerry would never feel lonely.

A red heeler-bull terrier crosses dog with his owner or better called as family members, Woody Smith and Aileen. As an aboriginal tribal elder, a labourer and carpenter for Wilcannia Council, Woody and his wife, Aileen has been raising Jerry since he was a puppy as a constant companions, ”everyone in Wilcannia knows Jerry and loves him…he means a lot to me,” Woody said.     

The reasons that Jerry has lived longer is due to his healthy lifestyle and high protein diet. It has been confirmed by Jerry’s vet, Dr Honey Nelson, that Jerry is pretty healthy and amazing for his age. ”…but also because he’s a fit, roo hunting dog who used to catch a lot of emu and roo…” she said, “He could push on to 28- going by his body condition he could.”

Besides Jerry, Woody and Aileen have a 20 years old dog, Kojack, who is Jerry’s companion, “He’s been a good dog and a good friend,” Woody asserted. He further explained that not only Woody’s daughter, Tanya, who is 26, grew up with Jerry loves him so much, but also his grandkids.

According to the 2004 edition of the Guinness Book of Records, the oldest cat died at the age of 34 as well as Butch, a 27-year-old beagle from USA has been found dead in July. Also, an Australia cattle dog, Bluey, was died on November 14, 1939, with his age 29.

Last but not least, there is no doubt that Jerry has become the world oldest dog that will continue to accompany with the citizens of animal lovers in Wilcannia with his vigorous vitality for this splendid town in the future.  

W8- Investigative Journalism

Responses to Paige Williams and Baker and McKenzie.

 

In the articles by Mckenzie and Baker, the Kossmann case is firstly way too shocked to the public especially in medical sphere. When no one might imagine that a decent doctor in a respectable position was trying to take advantages from the hospital and also his patients, Mckenzie and Baker disclosed the scandal with the evidence they have got from potential relevant interviewees around Kossmann. To some extend, it is pretty hard for them to keep a balance between the moral truth and some possible troublesome effects afterward while sourcing the materials. Honestly, writing a feature story is definitely a challenge to the writer that all the information and the imperious facts could be underground and never being discovered in some special occasions. Also, when they were sourcing the accountable proof, it is crucial to make sure that the interviewees are reliable and impartial toward the issue. It is easy to stay in one side when it concerned with ethical statements. However, they make the investigative article in both impartial and significant threads to the readers with efforts.  

Apart from Kossmann case, Paige Williams was luckier than Mckenzie and Baker to have a chance to interview “Dolly” in person, the most important thing is Paige Williams has the faith to bet on what she believed and finally gave us the picture of a good feature story might be time consuming but very rewarding with whole lot of responses and supports for her everywhere. Both of the feature stories contained the elements that it takes time to pile it up, and eventually complete with a remarkable story. It is not like a quick news piece which newsworthy lasts for only a very short period, likewise, the more time you takes to polish the article, the longer value it would lasts in readers mind.  

The questions for Baker:

1. How do you find the potential interviewees who might be related to the issue, and how to persuade them speak up?

2. How do you find it’s worthy enough to publish a imperious issue?

3. Do you think it is reliable to source the materials from “social media” as what Paige Williams did for her Dooly Freed Project?  

4. Does the Alfred Hospital corporative give you much pressure to force you conceal the scandal?

W7 Lead & Follow Through practice.

Hard News

Police rescued a couple from a burning vehicle after they lost control attempting a burn out in Frankston last night.

The car skidded into an embankment and burst into flames after speeding out of a McDonald’s driveway in Richardson road at over 100 kilometers an hour.

Two detectives who were on patrol on Richardson road witnessed the incident and rescued the couple immediately. Jim Allan, 23, suffered burns to his legs and torso and is now in a stable condition at The Alfred Hospital. His girl friend Rachel Williams, 23, escaped without injury.

“I’m just glad Jim is ok. It was just a silly stunt that went too far and it could have ended really badly,” said Rachel Williams.

This incident is the fifth car accident involving stunt or drag racing in Frankston in the past year.

“Police are sick of having to deal with drivers who think it is fun to put other motorists’ lives in danger. Innocent people get hurt and police and ambulance have to pick up the pieces,” Detective Senior Sergeant Mark Carter said.

Police Commissioner Simon Overland appreciated the two detectives for their bravery.

Soft News

‘Stunt’ driving and drag racing might be fun but it is sometimes fatal to people.

A 23 years old couple, were speeding out their car out of McDonalds driveway at over 100 kilometers per hour and burst into flames at Frankston last night.

Two detectives on patrol rescued the couple immediately after they witnessed it. While the man suffered burns to his legs and torso, his girl friend escaped without injury.

W6 soft V.S. hard story

Story1

Hard lead

The increasing number of international students’ enrolments in Australia comes from China and India according to new Statistics from IDP Australia.

Soft lead

You might have to learn about how to get along with Chinese and Indian if you are planing to study in Australia. An international student from India, Abhishek Puljal claims that most of international students prefer to study in Australia because of the high quality education system and the great reputation built up by the representatives in India.

Story2

Hard lead

An 18 year old student finished her VCE graduation speech naked at Kew Grammar private school yesterday.  

Soft lead

Have you ever thought about being famous in a minute? An 18 year old young graduate, Kate Logan, impressed everyone on the graduation podium by slipping out of her robe and finishing the speech naked at Kew Grammar private school last night. 

Story3

Hard lead

A nude buried boy was exhumed underground after 41 years later in a pauper’s grave in Castlemaine, police tried to using modern technology to investigate the unsolved murder.

Soft lead

Playing hide and seek in a cardboard box sometimes is a fun childhood game, but for one boy it end tragically. 41 years ago, a little boy was murdered and hidden in a cardboard box naked until the police exhumed his body out in a pauper’s grave at Castlemaine yesterday.

Story4

Hard lead

A 42 year old man, Surritte, was charged with assaulting a police officer after throwing a painting at Sergeant David Wilson’s head last night.  

Soft lead

Elvis Presley might be angry if he would know that he could be a tool for criminals. A 42 years old man, Surritte, attacked Sergeant David Wilson’s head by using a velvet painting of Elvis Presley last night.